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Recent News Aggregator Headlines

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   Poll of Civilian Pilots with Landline Phones Reveals Their Most Important Concerns in These Fraught Political Times -- Topping the List: Wetting Their Genitals [13 June 2324] (DNA)


   Controversial Civilian Pilot Lily Kaise Arrested for Structuring Payments to Fellow Pilot in Attempt to Avoid Transaction Reporting Regulations [15 December 2322] (NEN)


   RATS Swarm Gamma-12-05-17-SC Loses Major Swarm Status After Battle with Multi-Alliance Forces - Remains Split into Two Discrete Minor Swarms to Evade Destruction; Both Minor Swarms Now Moving Away From Kiron Nebula [16 May 2321] (ESR)


   Area Pilot Rescued From Well Wishes Everyone Would Stop Talking About It, Pledges to Go Down Second Well Out of Spite [14 May 2321] (UPN)


   Sing Us a Song: Interstellar Manhunt Now Underway for the "Cargo Man" [22 July 2323] (NAO)


   Nouveau Quebec to Grant Honorary Citizenship During "New Year Celebration" at Independence Plaza, a Tradition Which No One Understands [10 December 2322] (DFP)


   Wardrobe Sales Up 14%; "Consumers No Longer Want to Keep Their Clothes in Mouldering Piles on the Floor," Says Market Analyst [30 December 2321] (ISN)


   2320 HypAc EuroGP Third-Place Winner Found to Have Raced Under Performance-Decreasing Drugs [27 September 2320] (USN)


   Area Pilot Opens Bar Inside Own Battlesuit: "Very Little Seating, But Prices Are Competitive" [17 December 2323] (VAR)


   Nudist Owner of Starship "Haul Me Away" Gets Her Wish; Hauled Away to Jail for Public Indecency [ 9 May 2324] (SSX)

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